emotional-terroris-1

What IS an emotional Terrorist, anyway?

An emotional terrorist is a person who spreads fear and instills panic through their behavior.

While they are not necessarily violent or even physically threatening, they are still capable of great harm.

So, what do they do?

  • question incessantly
  • follow or track you (GPS)
  • entrap you
  • manipulate with money, or steal/hide it from you
  • constantly test boundaries
  • dismiss your feelings
  • gaslight you
  • intimidate and threaten
  • insist on knowing everything about everything
  • deprive you of connection

This type of person typically takes perverse pleasure in the power imbalance that their behavior creates and revels in causing fear or distress to their victim.

Emotional terrorism is:

psychological abuse that involves deliberate and calculated manipulation and intimidation to control someone else. It can include verbal, emotional, sexual, financial, spiritual, and sometimes physical abuse.

SO WHAT DO THOSE BEHAVIORS OF AN EMOTIONAL TERRORIST LOOK LIKE?

First, what you must know is that their behavior is a choice. It is intentional. 
Learn to spot the signs readily, reach out for help, and protect yourself from it before it does more damage.

confusion
The Questions
Where were you?
Who were you with?
What did you do?
Why was so-and-so there?
Who did you see when you were out?
What have you been doing all day?
On and on... no matter how many answers you give there's another question. 
confused-male-sitting
The Tracking
Because they want to catch you lying to them - no matter how honest you are - they will track you. A stealth tracking app on your phone, or looking up your calls on the phone bill, a gps tracker in your car, security cameras in your house, even!  Don't think for a second that you are not being watched.
female-yelling
The Paranoia
Just like the tracking, they are sure you're not telling them everything... so they will create ways to trap you into admitting you did something - even if you didn't! They'll accuse you of things you didn't, couldn't, and wouldn't do, and talk circles around you until you can't think straight anymore... and capitulate.
thief
The Money
Money is control. And controlling the money is power. An emotional terrorist will insist on being the one in control of the money. It's not uncommon that they will hide money from you, OR steal it from you for their own purposes. And plead poverty while sitting on a giant, secret bank account.
no-privacy
The Knowledge
An emotional terrorist wants to know and have control over everything. All the important family documents, all the keys, all the passwords, all the receipts. This feeds their need to follow/track, surveil, hide, question... sharing email accounts, or having access to your social media, and your phone. There is no privacy to be had.
threat-detected
The Intimidation
When all the other things are not getting them what they want - power and control over you - they will resort to intimidation and threats (and potentially physical violence). They may threaten to hurt your pets, or your kids... or you... or themselves. They will act out violently to make you feel unsafe and insecure. 
rs-mothersday-adjusted
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
...provides URGENT & ONGOING CARE FOR RELATIONSHIPS IN CRISIS

Even the United States Marines have called on her for help!

Dr. Shaler particularly helps the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She defines Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships–for their own purposes–while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”

Rhoberta offers the insights, strategies, and support you need to reclaim hope, confidence–and your sanity–when dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of Hijackals in your life, at home and at work.

Learn more or book a 1-hour Introductory Session for just $97

But how do I protect myself?

Emotional and intimate terrorism sounds as scary as it is and is as scary as it sounds. Recognizing it is a must. 

If you have co-dependent tendencies and traits, you are easier prey for emotional terrorists. 

But there are strategies you can learn and use to keep yourself sane, and prevent them from seizing all the control they want.

Listen to this episode of my Save Your Sanity Podcast to hear how to identify if you're in relationship with an emotional terrorist: 

I’m here to help you gain insights, skills, and strategies to help you say NO! to further emotional abuse. Please start today.
You deserve to live without abuse!

Take my Free Toxic Relationship Checklist to get insights that will help you identify next best steps.

You can break the bonds of emotional abuse. You deserve to live free of that burden and weight.

I have created 100s of videos and podcast episodes all about emotional abuse and the different ways it shows up... and what you can do about it, to reclaim your power and rebuild your life.

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